leave it to weaver

-Dr.Dre

-Tool

-The Birthday Massacre

-Snoop Dogg

-Hole

Does it get any more random then that honestly?

Last night the three centimeter cyst burst on my ovary and I had to go to the ER where they put me on morphine(which the nurse asked if I wanted more of? Uh yes you moron). They did a pelvic exam, gave me lortab and sent me home. So today I’ve been doped up but still in dull pain all day. I have to make a follow up appointment to have an ultrasound to make sure that’s what it is and not an ovarian cyst torsion or something. 

Had to call out of work which sucks, staying home is nice but not when it means losing money.

On top of this shit, I’ve been having a hard time with flashbacks lately…I just really want some friends to hang out with or people I can actually fucking relate with, I need so badly to just talk and I’d rather not pay my counselor to listen to me. It’s not like I need a counselor anymore in my life to tell me how to cope. I know how to cope. If I didn’t, I’d simply not be here. What I need is human interaction, people who care, people who don’t judge around me. Apparently the human race is too busy caring about their own shit to try to help a fellow human being. I don’t recall a time where I’ve been too busy to be there for someone but you know, god forbid it’s the other way around. 

This may all just be the lortabs allowing me to spill out some emotion on a fucking public blog, because you know that’s a genious move but I honestly don’t give two shits.